(crs) The Newest Ex- Mr. Spears (or: Move Over K-Fed!)

Howdy folks! It's been awhile, and what better way to get things cracking than a little teen celeb trash? So...

Guess who's preggers? Jamie Lynn Spears - aka Britney 2.0 - the younger Spears sis. Because I no longer watch Nickelodeon for anything but Spongebob Squarepants I had no idea that Jamie was a teen star. I also had no idea she was 16.

Yup! The good ol' Spears DNA kicks in again! It's a tiny mutation on the X chormosome that causes females of the Spears persuasion to wonder to themselves "Hm, I'm young and successful and managed to claw my way out of white trash obscurity before getting my first period... now how can I fuck it all up?"
And fuck it up she does, ladies and gentlemen, because Jamie Lynn has proudly announced that she's KEEPING IT!

In such deja-vu situations I always find myself doing a little bit of mental rewinding, if for no other reason than to slaver over what delightful headlines we'll be seeing in the next few years...

1) "SPEARS (VERSION 2.0) LEAVES CHILD IN CAR SEAT ON DRIVE HOME"
2) "SPEARS 2.0'S CHILDREN FOUND NAKED AND ALONE WITH ONLY TWINKIES TO EAT"
3) "MOTHER OF SPEARS 2.0 DEFENDS DAUGHTER'S PARENTING - 'At least she's not Britney!'"
etc........

Personally I couldn't be more excited about the whole mess, mostly because Jamie's baby-daddy is waaaaaay hotter than K-Fed.


His name is Casey Aldridge, he's 18, and quite frankly I wish I was pregnant with his child too. On the other hand, I'm looking forward to reviewing the razor-like wit contained in the soundbytes this Mississippi savant is sure to soon set afloat in the media. If he's hotter than Federline, then he's probably also more of an idiot, so my guess is that barring her giving the child a bottle of moonshine before nap time, Jamie just might hold on to this one.

Jamie's going to raise the upcoming child back home in Louisiana so it can "live a normal life." HA!, that's the best one yet.

--booziebee