(mar) SXS Wack!

The sound of tattered Pumas shuffling across the dusty desert landscape, local record stores sorting through their bins to determine what has and has not been shoplifted, and chereished memories being secreted away for those long nights spent in bleakly un-hip suburbia, bemourning your older brother playing the latest Fergy remix. You guessed it, South by Southwest (Or as the hipsters call it, SXSW. I myself am not a hipster, as I prefer the term aesthete savant) is at an end. You didn't go, you say? Well, neither did I. But before we chalk this post up to jealous haterism, lend me your ear, I'm just here to do a little debunking. While other blogs may tantalize you with photos of live shows and stories of mind-blowing and face-melting tuneskies, Bee In a Car's talents lie elsewhere. Correct, I am going to bitch for a mo.

I'm all down for music festivals. They look like a great time! But this one just seems to have spiraled way out of control! You have to trek across the desolate Texan landscape in order to reach the Southwest's last bastion of pretense: Austin. Austin, if you didn't know, is the home of University of Texas at Austin, which is a satellite school for "artists", music snobs, hipsters, posers, etc.

You name it, I hate it! I am imagining they teach classes like "S. Malkmus: The Early Years" and "The Economics of Urban Outfitters". You get the picture, but I digress . . .

So, what happens at South by Southwest is that like 3,000,000 bands converge upon the city and occupy every last bit of space, so you wind up with bills that read something like this: "Voxtrot and Loney, Dear with guests The Shaky Hands. 11:00 A.M. at Carl's Jr.", or "One night only! Bonde do Role and Flosstradamus at the Municipal Water Filtration Plant". Too many bands to keep track of, trekking all over town, vying for a standing spot in a library or record store. It's just too much! During this time, every music blog, music magazine, radio station, and kid with a dial-up connection will speak of nothing else. For nearly two weeks, that's all you get to hear about. Is there nothing else going on in the world of music at this time? Does the entire world shut down and wait with earnest stillness for the next musical portent to be issued forth from the Lone Star State? I, for one, do not!

- Marcelo

(P.S. I'm dying to go next year)