(mar) I got a new way to mop. Mop! Mop!

So we all saw and loved (hopefully) the new Dior Couture s/s 2007. Galliano's interpretation of Japanese garb Diorified was magical. Soon after he unveiled this stunning line for the couturier mothership, he presented us with his own menswear collection, once again drawing inspiration from our favorite xenophobic archipelago.



This time he digs up the earthen aesthetic of ancient Shinto, combining it with dust-gilded samurai armor and post-apocalyptic techno-gear. If anything it makes for an interesting departure from the current menswear landscape. Having perused many other shows, I came to the conclusion that if I saw another derivative Hedi Slimane victorian ripoff or Comme des Garcons hack of 60's Cardin I would violently shit my $30 jeans (not that I'm a poser, I'm just working with a fixed income).
Luckily, before retiring to the laundry room in shame, I happened upon the latest from John Galliano. This certainly isn't to say that everything about the line was peachy keen. The start of the show is breathtaking, combining Galliano's signature detail and flawless construction into ruched, deconstruced and hand painted Bushido-wear. I loved it. However, after the initial draw, it forays into what looks like a string of "urban ninjas". These outfits, while probably the most wearable of the group, are certainly not the most interesting. After a few clicks, I thought I had seen a group of hipsters clad in black women's jeans exiting the scene of a bank robbery, complete with floppy ski-masks.
The next segment of the show consisted of some admittedly great jackets which were hard to notice due to the use of distracting makeup. It looks like Homer Simpson set his make-up gun to "whore" and fired away, without even taking much time to aim. The male models apparently hated their new visage so much, they attempted to asphyxiate themselves with plastic bags. But still, cute jackets. Next, we get to see several dignitaries from Mad Max III's Barter Town (Tina Turner was unavailable for comment). The makeup for this section is possibly even more distracting (approaching terrifying) than the last.
Here, Galliano awkwardly segues into the underwear segment of the show. However, the bikini briefs have been shat in, and are obscured by Zulu tribal garb made of intricately felted wool. It's interesting, but do I want to see it on a runway? Sure, I loved the whole mud-caked tribal couture when Alexander McQueen did it in the late 90's. Nowadays I would probably like to see it in straight-to-DVD release "Subterranean Mop Lurkers".



They should make that, seriously. Getting back to fashion: the last part of the show was too costumey for me to take that seriously. While the wool head and cod-pieces were well constructed, they didn't say anything new.
But hey, the collection wasn't all bad. Its cultural references were thoughtful and well executed. Galliano's usual showmanship was in full force, and it was nice to see something different from the rest of the stuff out this season. And hey, I love that grey quilted tunic thing! John, you're still my boo. Of course, I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

- Marcelo